Category: the Rant Board
When I saw this forum I had to come here and rant about something that happened to me a few weeks ago.
Let me first give a verbal description. I live in a neighborhood where the houses are very close together. All the properites have fences and such dividing the property. Now, since we're all clsoe together, many of us know each other, even if we don't talk to each other. I'm sure many of you can relate, right?
I'm a blind person who also has a parent who is blind. My mom used to be really independent, but as she's hit her sixties, she's turned to relying on me and my siblings more and more. But anyway, that's a whole different kettle of fish.
My mom likes to pick lemons or tangerines off our fruit trees, bag them and give them to me to walk across the street and put it on a certain neighbor's porch. Well, since we happen to live right in th emiddle of the block, I usually just walk straight across and deliver the stuff. Okay, just so I can get this out, I want to say I know I was sort of jaywalking. I really get that. But in a neighborhood like mine, most people do it. It's just a given that we all just walk across the street and whatnot to say hi, etc.
So taking my cane, I walked across the street and got a really big surprise when my cane hit the driver side door to this guy's truck. The guy was parked on the street, but blocking the driveway of the family who lived there. I'm assuming that he was waiting for someone. Immediately after my cane struck his truck, the guy swung open his door and said in a pretty loud voice, "What the hell!"
Still so shock, I lost my voice. I didn't know what to do, so instinct had me curving around his truck and completeing my task. I walked back across the street at a different part of the street and went home. My younger brother, who is sighted, happen to overhear me telling my mom about the incident. He went outside like a protective brother and came back in to report that the guy's wife had come outside and he was bitching to her about what happened.
I have to say, in the ten years since I lost all my sight,I've never angered someone so bad before because I ddin't know they were there. In fact, the way the guy reacted I was a little scared. I thought he was going to come across the street and claim I'd damaged his truck or something.
Needless to say, I was pretty shaken up about this for a few days. The friends and family whom I've told the story to comforted me by saying. They said that I should let it go. I can't see and I had no idea the guy was going to park his truck in front of someone's driveway.
Anyway, that's my experience. Not so much a rant. I simply saw this board and knew I had to type up my story.
Bookbug
You should have taken your cane and wacked him one upside the head. Seriously, the guy has eyeballs, I'm sure he saw your cane. Of course you were going to tap his precious truck.
Wow! Was that really necessary? He didn't have to react like that, or even react at all, for that matter. I guess he might have been more shocked if he didn't see you coming, and then out of nowhere something hits his car. But that doesn't justify his reaction.
Some people just overreact, and he was probably one of those people.
I'll try to be nice, that was extremely unfair of him to react like that. Presumably he had use of his eyes well enough to drive and so well enough to see you coming, it shouldn't have been all that difficult to wind down his window and let you know he was there. Sadly though some people, while they can be very adept at some things, often have the common sense of a lump of play dough... oops, I did try to be nice...
Personally, I'd have gone round to the front of his truck and smashed his headlights in. *grins* Seriously no folks, willful damage to property and all that. But ignorant people sure do deserve it sometimes.
I had something similar happen to me, though not as bad, while on a mobility lesson a few years ago. Dude sitting in his car, me walking across road with M O. M O said there was a car there so go slowly and so I did. Popped up against his car and apparently his face was a picture of pissed offedness. He said nothing though, not much he could say really. I wonder if some people think we shouldn't be let loose on the streets off the leash?
Walk in beauty,
Simon
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your words. It really gave me a lift. Like I said, even though this incident happened a few weeks ago, it still plagues my mind.
When I was telling this story to my friend after it happened, she comforted me by repeating a story she'd told me some years ago. If you guys want to get outraged even more, listen to this story...
My friend was at the mall one day. She was all by herself and walking with her cane. This lady cut in front of her, tripped on her cane. She then proceeded to walk back to my friend, slap her hard on the upper part of her arm and then she walked away. All without saying a single word. My friend said she was like me, so shocked that for several seconds afterward, she simply stood there, her mouth hanging open.
My incident as well as my friend's incident makes me wonder. Is it that majority of sighted people don't know what the cane is for? Or do they feel justified in in getting upset if we bump into them or they trip on our canes?
If others have stories, share here. I don't know if it's already done, but maybe we should start a post and recite all our unpleasant encounters. Cleanse the souls so to speak.
Take care all,
Bookbug
hi. yes i think some people feel that if we have the audasity to walk in the streets with our canes and they trip over them once you've cleared that space for yourself to walk into, that they can insult us, slap us etc. of course, slapping someone is common asult. now the mall might have had cctv and your friend might have made a thing of it if she'd been quick enough, but ah well. that's not what you're thinking at the time of course, but it would have wiped the smile off that passer by's face. now i've nocked one guy off his bike, when he shouldn't ahve been riding it in the first place. he was riding down a pedestrianised street, where it clearly said, no cycling, and i broke three spokes of his front wheel with my cane, as well as making him fall off his bike. my cane got caught in his spokes, you see. so justice there really. the stupid asshole even tried to argue the case there was no sign, wheraes i know where the sign is on the street and offered to take him to it and show him. he pushed his bike from then on. eheheheheh
Sounds to me like this guy had other problems that had absolutely nothing to do with you. AS they say wrong place wrong time. I've had sighted people run over me literally, and then say "sorry, I didn't see you." Now, I love bright colors and am not a small target. My answer is usually "that's my excuse. I'm sure you can think of a better one."
Wow, this guy was just, as we say politely, a b*stard, or a bucking fastard, if you are into the spoonerism thing. And I thought they advertized trucks to be super tough, able to drive through the rockies and fall 600 feet without a dent, and then the driver freaks out about a touch from a cane, unless, of course, you are a super hero with a 50-tonn swing on your cane, one never knows.
I was once crossing a street when a guy turned on red very fast (ok, I cn't confirm it, but I've observed traffic patterns at this intersection and had crossed it hundreds of times by that day) as I was walking and actually brushed me so badly I fell back and lost my cane in the middle of the street. I managed to scramble to get it and cross without getting hit, but the car in question never even slowed down. The security guards at the building were shocked and appauled at this "brush and run" incident but didn't get the guys' license plate. I guess, technically, he (well or she, could've been a female driver, they can be quite as b*tchy sometimes) didn't do anyting illegal but would it kill one to stop and see if one inflicted serious damage?
Craz stuff, I'm sure most of us have been unfortuante enough to experience the more ass holy among us.
cheers
-B
wow. slapping you that's just crazy. me myself, I have had people try to jump over my cane as I walked down a street once. another time I had someone actually turn to her friend and ask in this loud voice, "is she blind?" I didn't say anything, but wanted to... I actually had someone tell me to beg in the streets like I'm supposed to... um? is there a law about that I didn't know about?
told you to beg in the streets? wow, backwards or what?
umm wow, this is the situation in other countries as well? I thought it's only in India.
I met with various situations like this. most the illiterate/village Indians are still thinking that blind people are walking around only for the purpose of begging alone. they aren't aware that we people are also employed and we people arre also going to work and such.
I guess this situation will not prolong as long as we're proving that we do have tallents and we are also similar to you other than the vision.
whether y'all going to believe me or not, but one of my office securities asked me, whether you too will have intercourse? and after my yes, his next question was, how will you find out your partner's cliterous? for which I've replied, do you ever keep the lights on while having sex? then he got it shut.
idiotic bastards.
Raaj.
then he got it shut? love your way of writing raaj. paws up to you man.
Begging in the streets like you're supposed to! What time period is this?!
And what was the slap for? Sighted people often do these motions and have these looks on their faces that are supposed to mean something, which they do. But if a person is blind, it just won't make sense. What the hell do people think the cane is for!?
Yeah, in order for us to make commuting a little better, we might just have to throw that impairments and disabilities course into high school curriculum.
i agree, more exposure to disabled people in primary school and secondary sschools would be a good thing.
I agree with Digressive Distortion and Smokey Bear. There should be something implemented somewhere to educate people about blind people.
When I was going through elementary school and beyond, I had many problems with teachers, students, etc. It got so frustrating at times I would come home crying. I kid you not, I once had a kid in middle school actually come up to me and threaten to beat me up. Then his kid sister threatened to do the same if I didn't leave her brother alone. I was like, what the heck? I ddidn't do anything to him! It was the fact that I existed, I think, that made the brother and sister feel that they could say those things to me.
After that, I went straight to the admin building and just happened to run into the new vice principal, who, I must say, was one of the good guys. My principal was a great guy to who had already had to deal with my issues before. Fortunately, she took hold of the student and he never bothered me again after that.
But incidents like this made me realize at a young age that people, even adults, just don't get it. I went through high school griping that if more people had even a ten-minute crash course, they would at least understand a little bit.
While I'm on that subject, I'll share with you all a story I hope you'll give a hearty nod. When I was a senior in high school, I had my cane out majority of the time and had already had my run-ins with students. Sadly, I didn't have a principal like my middle school one. My high school principal was as lame as the rest. Fortunately, at the rehab for the blind, I did have one good soul who came to bat for me.
With great gusto this lady went to the school and rallied to have an optional assembly put on. Needless to say, the admin wasn't too thrilled and the theather teacher wasn't either. She moaned over the loss of stage time with her theater classes. I said to my family, what th heck, this is for a good cause, what's she griping about?
Thankfully, many of my old and current teachers signed up and brought they classes. I had an old friend of my mom's from her high school days be there as a guest. Coincidence of course. He's blind too and a great, great piano player. He played for the students and I was able to talk and vent my thoughts and feelings in a calm manner.
Let me just wind this down by saying that after that, the entire student body changed towards me. It wasn't something you could really tell. It was just something in the atmosphere when I went from class to class after that. Many more people were considerate and got out of my way if they saw me coming. I once had a guy flip out because he had his back to me and only when his friend pulled him out the way did he realize. He was so apologetic and wanted to help me.
This is what convinced me 100% that there needs to be some kind of awareness, if not an education, about visual impairment and blindness. I think if society did it at an early age, maybe more people would be so lame.
Thanks for listening to me.
Bookbug
Bookbug, not only do I think people should be educated on visual impairments and blindness, but also other common disorders, impairments, handicaps, and disabilities. I'm sure that visually impaired and blind people are not the only "handicapped" people who are mistreated, or who encounter people who just don't know how to behave around and treat them. This is why it should be a class, with a book, worksheets, and a couple research papers.
Also, I've considered holding an assembly at my school about blindness and such, but I don't know. I guess I'm just really lazy, and everything that I've been through in life has made me more patient and kind with people. I've learned to tolerate ignorance.
I've actually had boys try to trip me in school, but it only happened on one day. I didn't feel the need to worry about it if it only lasted a day and not a week or anything like that. We all just have to take note of the fact that there will always be ignorant and foolish jackholes.
i think just an assembly addressing disability would be a great help. to let the able bodied majority know that disabled people, one, exist, and two, can do tings much like the able bodied majority, if only there are some adaptations in atitude and equipment. at the stable where I volunteer, during pony camps, the owner of the stable invites me to talk to the children about my work with the horses. i am totally blind, but for the most part, do not have my cane visible as i am working close with the horses. sometimes though, when leading a horse from one stable to another, i have the cane out. of course, when I don't have my cane out, and am grooming a horse, i don't necessarily look, "blind," so children who happen to see me working with the horses might think of me as just another joe, ok, my name's not joe, but you know what i mean, grooming horses. the way i start my talks is by putting my cane away, and asking the children what they see. the usual response is a man wearing a reflective jacket who grooms horses. then I get the cane out and ask the question again. the pause is about ten seconds long before the responses come back, as they are confronted by the cane. i've turned from a man who grooms horses into a blind man who grooms horses. i then talk about atitudes to blind people working with horses in the UK. the general problems some see with this, and the lack of an issue my current workplace make of my disability. yes it is there, but is not the main feature by any means. for instance, i walked onto the yard one day, and the comment was, "thank goodness you've turned up, we're trying to clean ice's eyes," Ice is a horse who is very nervous and head-shy, but i've got a good relationship with him, and can put him at ease. Apparently they'd been trying to clean this horse's eyes for the last hour. i cleaned around his eyes twice in ten minutes. once to do the job, and then again to check the job was done. Ice didn't mind in the least. of course, i also spent time talking to him, bringing him down from his usual outlook on life of "everyone hates me, i'm about to die!" ice is a sweet natured gelding, and his issues are a challenge, not a problem. it's great to soothe his mind enough to let him close his eyes and relax, even for five minutes.
I think before you start any of these classes, the question is, how are you going to convince most people that they should even take an interest and pay attention to the subject in the first place. One thing I've come to understand about people is most folks tend to expect that anyone they have any meaningful connection with is going to be fairly similar to themselves, as far as things like ethnicity, religion, economic status, and other factors. There are always exceptions to the rule, though, but most folks go to what they know. The blind, the disabled, and many other sorts of people are so alien and mysterious that most folks just don't think they'll ever meet one, and if they do, they'll do whatever's socially appropriate and then they'll part ways never to meet again and nothing much will change. I think the only way you're going to get people to take an interest is probably exposure to blindness and disability for every waking second. Not just in school, but absolutely everywhere people are and in all homes. That's probably not very possible or workable, but I think since we're so far outside what people are comfortable and familiar with, we can be easily ignored or passed along to somebody else who's supposed to care, and nothing changes.
but surely every little helps. the way you are writing god zilla, while i agree somewaht, if we take it that, because the able bodied majority are so powerful the disabled should not try and change their view on how disabled people are approached, be it in workplace or social settings, then we might as well give up. sure, some of the charities leave a lot to be desired in this field, kinda just waving the flag a little and not doing much when the employer/service provider says, oh yes yes yes, well actually no, to employing disabled people, but if disabled people themselves do not try and change the perceptions of able bodied in small ways, and of blind in particular, as we are dealing with blind people in particular here, then how can we expect any kind of equality at all. the sighted majority would rather, in general, that we blindies wwould fuck off and live in carehomes, but we don't, and they have to deal with it. Why is it that provision for wheelchair users is better than provision for blind people? it is because people are used to not using their legs for anything these days, they all use cars, . walking is not a passtime any more. so provision for wheelchair users, being cheap, and good for more than just the wheelchair user, a ramp etc can be used to aid those who cannot get up stairs for example, be they too fat, or such to walk up stairs, have a buggy, if a parent with a child etc. whereas good contrast, proeper lighting, braille? talking ATM, and horror of horrors, accessible jobs for blind people are so unheard of, that the majority don't want to know. just my thoughts.
I don't think blind and disabled folk should give up educating at all. I suppose I'm just skeptical about how much change is expected from a one-shot assembly or even an awareness week as opposed to how much change actually happens. It's not even about majority vs. minority or power vs. no power. It's about how easy you are to ignore or hand off to somebody else because you just can't deal with the concept.
It's kind of like kids in a history class who think they don't avhe to remember certain material because it's not going to be on the test. Many people think that the only reason to even do anything with a blind person is to help them, and once youv'e done your bit, it's done. According to waht I've read here regarding some of the questions people ask, it seems as if people believe that anything a blind person does and how they live are such alien amd mysterious things that they just can't possibly be like, well, normal people. But also, it's not just about talents nad abilities, but it's also just about whether we relate culturally. People assume we do not or cannot enjoy movies and TV and who knows what books they think we read.
It happens like that sometimes. I think some men are more sensative about there precious little toys.
Godzilla, it's true that all people will not be interested in this class, but then again, are all people interested in math, English, history, reading, piano, or civics? Nope. And you may say that they would be less likely to desire to take this class because their mind set would be that they'll probably never encounter an impaired or disabled person, or they'll only encounter them once, but what do you make of people who take foreign language classes in junior high and high school? Do you know that most of these kids think they'll never need or use Spanish, French, German, or whatever foreign language they're taking, outside of school? Most of them think that they'll never have to speak full-blown Spanish to a person.
And then what do you make of those people that take elvish courses in college? Some people only take some courses because it sounds interesting or it may be fun.
You've got some valid points, and I'm not going to sit here and argue it to death, as I probably almost have. But what I'm getting at is that my impression is that people who want the sighted to be educated seem to have very big expectations and I do not want to see people get disappointed and give up when they do not see as much change in people as they expected. I keep telling people I'm cynical, and do they listen? Hahahaha!
Well, what I often do so that I don't become disappointed, is to look forward to the best, but expect the worst. That will totally decrease your disappointment, it works. If you know how to do it, that is.
i expect the worst, and quite often get the best from people. what people are amazed at is how many contingency plans i have for situations. i always carry enough money with me, for example, when going long distance to get a cab home if needed, or to get a room for a night if things go tits up. i've never had to use these contingencies however, but every little helps.
this is one of those things u hav to brush off your shoulders.
"I have a friend his name is justin, well i got him started on miriani, big fucking mistake. I wasnt sure what his abilities were, but i soon found out he uses an alternative communication device, because his cp is so bad he cant walk or talk. It sucks because people call him retarded well ok dumb asses sit the fuck down, lets take a mental trip. You are in a wheel chair, you cannot speak you cant hold a pencil to write, now, you are trying to tell your mom you want a glass of milk, how do you do it? you cant just open your mouth and say hey mom can i have some milk? now can you, well they would have a board in some cases with pictures of things, and sometimes you would have to sit pointing or nodding assuming you can for a glass of milk. Ok so your blind friend says try this game, you are finally learning that with this new machine you have you can type things in and the device will speak it, so you get on there only to be called a retard a fucking dick a loser and told you should kill yourself because your worthless. fuck off you fucking pricks. I have worked with justin for several months now, his sentence structure and things are improving with practice, the kid may take a bit to grasp stuff, but they i dont think really had him reading a lot, and right now he is using jaws while he gets up there in his skills. Once he has a concept then he has it, and it sticks, the bad side of that is when the problem is similar to the concept but a bit different and change in the same core concept occurs. but he is starting to understand and he gets so excited when i present him with a new challenge, me and my friends work with him because we enjoy it, i wanna kill the little fucks like one we were talking to the other night who said that justin needed to be tied behind a car and dragged, murder was on the brain then. I wanted to walk clear to canada and hand that little fuck his dick and testicals right in his mouth because he obviously dont need em.
i just hate it when people's misconceptions drive them and they hate to accept any different.